ONE WEEK AWAY AND I CRIED ON MY WALK TODAY.

One week from today I'll be boarding a plane with my boys, and David and his kids and heading to Hawaii to get MARRIED!! 

What an exciting time and I CAN'T WAIT for this special day with us and our kids! 

But I cried a different kind of cry on my walk today. 

The kind with mixed emotions, and feelings I wasn't sure what to do with. 

So I just let it all out. 

I walked today on  the same path I have for the last three years now. The same path that got me through some of the TOUGHEST days of my life. The same path I created lots of really wonderful moments on, and had many deep thoughts and therapeutic moments on. 

I moved to a new hood recently, and I had this moment of feeling like I was leaving this place and leaving it all behind. 

And I felt a little grief. A little sadness that this chapter of my life is coming to and end. 

But at the same time I'm starting a BEAUTIFUL new chapter, with someone I never thought was possible to find. 

I'm gonna miss some things about this life I created for myself as a single mom, and there are things I won't miss. 

I'm gonna miss my alone time, but I'm not gonna miss the moments of loneliness. 

I'm gonna miss the freedom of doing what I want and no one knowing where I am, but I won't miss not having someone caring if I got home safely. 

I'm gonna miss celebrating the holidays with just my side of the family, but I won't miss wishing I had someone to enjoy them with. 

I'm gonna miss those moments of feeling like a strong independent woman after figuring out how to change batteries in a beeping smoke detector on a really tall ceiling without a ladder, but I won't miss figuring out how to kill the spiders on my own. 

I realized that the past three years have been some of the hardest years, but also some of the BEST years of my life. 

I found my true self, my authentic soul, and my strength and my voice again. 

And by the end of my walk, I realized I can still take all these things with me into this next chapter. 

The beauty of this person I have found to spend the rest of my life with, is he fell in love with this person I am. He loves and respects my independent nature, my authentic thoughts, my need to just be me. 

He is a true partner, my best friend, the greatest adventure, safest place, my greatest love story.

And I can't wait to commit to doing life together forever with my love. 

Love you all! 

-SJ

The Boutique Bride to be(signing off for the last time as a bride!)